10 Secrets Of Confident Women

Building confidence is a marathon, not a sprint. It takes time to grow into yourself and understand who you are! These 10 secrets of confident women can help you become the confident woman you want to be. Learning how to be confident isn’t hard. With a few mindset switches, you’ll be on your way to strutting your own catwalk!

10 Secrets of Confident Women - Milk Tea Theory

10 Secrets of Confident Women

1. Confident women don’t apologize

Women are conditioned to apologize. It’s natural for us to apologize for the smallest things that don’t even need apologizing for.

Someone once told me that when women are late to a meeting, they apologize for being late. Men, however, say, “Thank you for waiting.” The mindset is so different, and one that I am still working on!

One of my professors once pointed out that in all of her classes, more female students than male students apologize for asking questions. Female students say “sorry” before they even ask their questions. She’s also noticed that her male students don’t do this. They speak knowing that they belong there and have a right to speak. As a woman, you do, too!

2. Confident women are not afraid to fail

“Failure is an important part of your growth and developing resilience. Don’t be afraid to fail.”

Michelle Obama

Failure builds grit. It builds resilience. It’s also one of the largest learning opportunities. There are so many things that self-help books and textbooks can’t teach you (even though it feels a lot nicer to learn from books than failure), because you have to experience it for yourself.

To take this one step further, try to challenge yourself to ask for one thing each day for 1 month. This can range from free whipped cream at a coffee shop or an extension on a project. See where this takes you–you’ll be surprised!

3. Confident women know that haters are gonna hate–because they’re jealous and insecure

Many women will agree that as they grow older, they become more confident as they become more comfortable in their own skin. It’s actually found that people are generally at their most confident at age 60.

I’ve learned that people are often too busy worrying about themselves. So if you trip in front of someone one day, try not to waste too much time fretting over yourself. Chances are that they’ll relate (everyone trips!), and forget about it, because they’re too busy worrying about their own days.

People who laugh at others because they don’t have anything better to do are small. They’re insecure about themselves or jealous of you. They laugh because they mistook that for something that will bring them happiness. What they’re getting wrong is that happiness doesn’t stem from bringing others down. If what you’re doing makes you happy, then keep on being you, girl!

4. Confident women know that they are multi-faceted

Confident Women Quotes by Maya Angelou

Just as the media portrays beautiful women to be a certain “type,” society can portray confident women to also fit a set of specific standards. This is wrong. Women are multi-faceted, beautiful, complex. Women don’t fit into molds because there are so many ways to be who you are. Confidence comes in many forms, and there are no “right” ways to be a truly confident person.

5. Confident women aren’t afraid to take themselves on dates

Treat yourself to some precious alone time! It’s a good way to self-reflect without having to worry about others. This is time that should be completely for yourself. Do what makes you happy, whether it’s a bath or a facial scrub or a movie or a good meal. You deserve it!

6. Confident women don’t compare themselves to others, but find inspiration from them

It’s a good idea to look to others to seek inspiration. Although it can be hard, don’t compare yourself to them! Everyone has their own path, and there’s no “right” way to living life (despite what your parents might say).

If you see someone with a career that you’re interested in or a life that you want to live, reach out to them and talk to them! Chances are that you’ll learn a lot from this experience and meet someone pretty amazing, too!

7. Confident women have a purpose

Confident women are confident and happy because they’re fulfilling a purpose. You don’t need something grand (like ending world hunger), but if you’ve got a reason to wake up every day, that’s going to change your mindset in brilliant ways. It can be as simple as feeding your dog or hanging out with your friends.

Some days, it can be hard to get out of bed, and that’s okay. You don’t need to adhere to your purpose ALL the time. It’s completely normal to take a break.

8. Confident women are always willing to grow

This ties hand-in-hand with welcoming failure. Be open to growth. Be coachable. Take feedback from people that you respect (not the haters!), and that you know have good intentions for you.

Confident women know that it’s important to address their flaws and to continue to grow. They’re not arrogant because they know that no one is perfect.

Also–why be perfect? How boring would that be?

9. Confident women are the women they want to be, not the women the media wants them to be

Confident Women Quotes - Milk Tea Theory

The portrayal of women in media is often one-dimensional and altered (Photoshop!!). Sadly, these standards are often dictated (as many policies pertaining to women’s bodies are) by men. MEN. Who are NOT women, and most importantly, who are not YOU.

Be who YOU want to be, not what the media tells you to be. Your features make you who you are, and that’s beautiful.

10. Confident women know that it’s okay to not be 100%

There’s a common misconception that confident women are ALWAYS confident. This isn’t true. It’s natural to feel a little down sometimes, and it’s okay if you’re feeling that way. Self-care and self-reassurance are important during moments like these.

Take time off from the outside world and focus on yourself. I find it most helpful to step away from screens, where most of the world now revolves. Make a cup of hot tea, settle into a good book or journal!

If you’d like, check out my 50 Journal Prompts To Inspire Self Discovery. You’ll find prompts for dreams, memories, fears, slice of life, and pure imagination.

leave a thought!


  1. 8.3.20

    WOW!!! Sunny! I’m obsessed with this post! I love how you included multiple quotes! I also noticed that I apologize too frequently and need to work more actively on doing it less. This is a great post for all women, but especially younger girls in their teens and early 20s.

    • 8.7.20
      Sunny said:

      Thanks for leaving a comment, Carmen! I’m so glad you found it inspiring(: And I relate! I also apologize too much and am working on it!